Chilli's revenge

esterday I went to Mitre 10, but I'm not sure it was a wise decision.

See, last night I made a curry with chillis and ate a lot of the dish.

The chillis were one of Mike's patented "you-dirty-yourself-chilli" sauces.

Tasty, but it gets quite painful later and I can give you a written guarantee that your butt is hanging open to breathe the next day. Your butt cheeks pull open so wide it looks like a spaniel's ears.

Now when I woke up this morning, I expected the 06:00 “train” to call me to the toilet, but nothing happened. Although I could feel those chillis swimming through my intestines.

That those chillis wanted out was a sure thing, but I no longer knew when. But I had things to do and then had to go to Mitre10 to get Rubol for the deck. . .

Arriving there, I got the trundler and bought some other stuff like wood screws and double sided tape, before I arrived at the paints and turpentines.

It's the furthest point from the toilet when that pain hits. I was leaning with my elbows on the trundler handles at that point.

Suddenly my step is naturally shorter as my buttocks tighten,then those same muscles also pulled my arms straight.

It looked like my legs' bearings were hitting overdrive as I came to a halt. I think my butt muscles had been held hostage by the chillis because then a warning shot came out.

I was too scared to move because otherwise fumes would still come out, but I knew: "Bro, you have to run now".

I got moving and just as I was walking out of the aisle, there came a pale soul nerd with his Mitre10 suit and asked

Hey . How can I help you? ”

Now look… ..the boy knows pretty much nothing about building, so I quickly mumble no and walk on.

I'm not the bullying type either, but when the boy walked further down the aisle, I turned around and watched the boy walk in the direction of that haze.

Grace man.

It was as if he had run into a wall. I should have warned him for sure, but I did not. His eyes just blinked, then a swarm of invisible bees attacked him as he waved his arms and accelerated into reverse gear.

I was emotionally torn in two.

I burst out laughing, but THAT was a big mistake. A series of shots were fired down there, which I later heard sounded like an armed robbery to other customers.

They apparently hit cover and hid their wallets and cellphones between the shelves.

Things were not so funny to me anymore and I rushed down to the toilets with that trundler. No one paid attention to me either because everyone thought I was running away from the robbers' gunshots.

But all the way “slap the shots” and I hope and pray I make the toilet before the final shower takes place. For "once in a while", "luck" was on my side.

My butt hadn't even touched the seat yet, then that very final dump took place.

I heard a poor drummer walk into the toilet and all he was saying was "Dear Tin Dish !!!!"

Then I heard the sqeauk of the toilet door as he stormed out of there.

Finally I'm done and I stepped out.

Another shop assistant comes to me and says

"Sir, some idiot left a stink bomb in the shop. My manager wants everyone to stand outside so that he can let the fans work at full blast for about 2 minutes. ”

I grinned, but there were still "robbers" on the other side of my boundary wire who then fired the last light shots even before I could pinch.

The shop assistant's nose suddenly crumpled and after pulling his shirt over his nose, he pressed his finger in my direction and screamed

"It was him!"

The manager called me aside and I was later formally notified, or rather said I was banned from Mitre10. . .

I then went home without the items I wanted to purchase and just in time for lunch.

All there was to eat was last night's chilli curry which then tasted even better than before.

I ate then but the last lot too.

But the deck needs to be painted with the Rubol, so tomorrow I'm going to Bunnings!