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Post by catweasel on Oct 30, 2015 23:24:32 GMT
im not anti them
go hard
on nov 5th
after that
step away from
the lighter
you dumb fucks
(not you
whoever it is that is still
letting them off
on dec 2nd)
as a pet owner
it pisses me off
as a human
if you like fireworks
and want to let them off year round
then when my dogs shit themselves
i shall see to it
that they shit themselves
on your front lawn
twice a day
until christmas
no fireworks for us this year
we live on top of a hill
so we just watch everyone elses
looks like rain on the 5th
so i might just chuck some
aluminium foil
and a couple of empty air freshener cans
into the microwave
for a couple of minutes
that outta scratch
the itch
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Post by Nats on Oct 30, 2015 23:28:30 GMT
Always the Wellington Harbour Firewoks or at te Marua stockcar track
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Post by catweasel on Oct 30, 2015 23:34:42 GMT
yeah
bit cloudy to see
from here
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Post by Nats on Oct 30, 2015 23:38:55 GMT
yeah bit cloudy to see from here Up your way they should do it from Matakana Island |
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Post by rita on Oct 30, 2015 23:39:00 GMT
I lit a huge fire before  |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2015 23:46:31 GMT
The tossers have been letting them off for the last week and it will continue until after New Year. I think Rosko is immune to them now.  |
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:03:04 GMT
I lit a huge fire before fires are awesome speshly when its large and varied goods you know a couple of couches an old tv with the tube still in is goood paint cans old turps bottles and nothing says fire like an old tyre my signature item is a mattress queen better than a single obviously they really light up one time dad gave me and my brothers a job for the school holidays said we could share $500 if we tore down the old tractor shed and stacked up the corrugated iron reckoned it would take us three days he left us to it and went off to work i put the old thinking cap on and came up with a handy dandy idea i set fire to the ancient dry framework it burned away in about twenty minutes and we picked up the corrugated iron and the lead head nails and knocked the job out in an hour i probably should have taken the hay bales out of the back of the shed and moving the tractor would have been good too but dad had started hiding the keys from me when he found out i was pulling my brothers around the paddock in an old milk crate but i digress the fire department came out i was given a jolly good telling off (have never been hit by either of my parents) dad never ponied up the 500 which ticked me off but i stayed schtum about that in the interests of self preservation the fire department had to come to our house no less than three separate times before i was shipped off to boarding school fire rules |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 0:13:12 GMT
 I love Fires too. When I was at the Flower Growers place, they used to set fire to the dried Biddy Bid (Cleavers) that ran rampant over the raised beds of Nerines. That was fun to watch it race down the rows. 
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Post by rita on Oct 31, 2015 0:14:42 GMT
Oh we share so much in common lol I burnt down a couple of hectares of manuka out the back of our place in paremata when I was 9 playing with matches one hot summers day anyway yeah fire brigade and the whole neighbourhood watching the old lady ripped me hair out as she dragged me around the lounge room trying to belt me with the jug chord silly old bitch was so pissed she missed most of the blows  |
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:23:04 GMT
we had this old tree stump
just outside the fence
but on the side of the road
big one
couple of ton
stood about 4 meters tall
old macrocarpa stump
dry as a dead dingos donger
dad used to complain
about it
because the mowers skirted around it
and it looked scruffy
well say no more dad
you let little weasel
take care of that shit
i'll get that stump outta there
lickety split
i saved it for a surprise
when i burned it to the ground
a few days later
he was surprised
and damn pleased
as well
it went off without a hitch
unless you count the leaping flames
burned thru the power lines
above it
and knocked out power
along our whole road
for three days
fire department
#2
and a stern
telling off
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 0:27:23 GMT
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Post by Imbannedeverywhere on Oct 31, 2015 0:30:40 GMT
I used to regularly set the scrub at the Gonville domain on fire. The fire engine had to park on my back lawn to reach both the blaze and the water connection  |
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:35:19 GMT
yup yup yup
fire dept
#3
ol weasel
was experimenting
as you do
out in the garage
with all things
combustible
id been reading
sven hassell books
and wanted to make
a grenade
i tried a few combinations
of stuff
and settled on
one of mums preserving jars
with the lid and band
filled with kerosene
fertiliser
and a decent amount
of emptied out shotgun cartridges
which i took
from dads duck shooting cupboard
i packed that shit in there
tied a piece of baling twine around it
dipped it in petrol
set fire to it
and started swinging
to get some distance
fucken baling twine snapped
all goods tho
it exploded
sending
globs of burning napalm like shit everywhere
life is a learning curve
and im a quick learner
i went and got a piece of number 8 wire
and tied that round it
gave it a petrol bath
and ignited it
i yelled
fire in the hole
safety first
that worked wayyyyyyyy better
i really got that barstard flyinghave you ever done ?
swung something around and let go
trying to aim it
its hard
and therein
came my downfall
it left my hands
like a fucken skyrocket
and went straight into the wood shed
where me and my brothers
had dutifully
stacked that years cords of wood
the wood shed
an old unlined corrugated affair
shared a wall
with the pump shed
we got our water
from the bore
when the fire dept got there
it was cinders
and old weasel
got a jolly good
telling off
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:38:10 GMT
and we had to get a water tank
installed
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:39:20 GMT
and spiller taylor had to bring us
some more firewood
in his council dump truck
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:40:48 GMT
i think he took
his family on holidays
up the cape
to see the whanau
in that truck
could never get pick up
first two weeks
of january
they had alternate driver
but just one truck
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:41:32 GMT
them were the
days
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Post by rita on Oct 31, 2015 0:47:26 GMT
You needed a mum like mine bruv |
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 0:50:03 GMT
poor mum
people used to whisper
about me
and give her
apologetic looks
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 1:47:11 GMT
My old man was a stupid prick with fires. We had a row of hydranga bushes along the frontage which was long cos our section was a scalene right triangle shape so the longest side was our front boundary. He would cut shit out of these hydrangas as soon as they were end of flowering. So all the trimmings were raked up in a huge heap and into the shed for some fuel, out came paint thinners, petrol and anything else he could find. Whoosh up she went and as Weas said along the power wires they were big heavy ones, that served the industrial area down the road. Fuck he was a real bloody fire bug. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 1:50:00 GMT
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Post by catweasel on Oct 31, 2015 1:57:57 GMT
they burn well
those power lines
so do the poles
but thats a story
for another day
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 2:14:57 GMT
Heres one for you Weas. Back in my early days of my apprenticeship in this engineering company all the staff were pissheads. (I was still to learn this skill) In the middle of winter we had a potbelly stove (bit like the Masport ones) set up in the middle of the machine shop. Being the youngest my job was to keep that fire going. The blacksmith had plenty of coke for the forge so I flogged some of this. All the tradesmen fucked off at lunchtime to the pub, left me by myself. So I had this pot belly stoked up good, and a pair of vice grips on the trigger of the air hose, just blowing a very gentle bit of air in the bottom. I had this cast iron beauty glowing red hot around the base. About 2 pm, these blokes arrive back 3 parts pissed, the idiot foreman said to me "For fuck sake why didn't you look after the fire, boy" With this he grabbed a tin of kerosene opened the top of the pot belly and fired it in, Well there was a almighty whoosh and flames were dancing along the rafters, The stupid old prick had a free hair trim and no eyebrows. Fuck he gave me such a fright I thought the factory was a goner, but it petered out. |
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Post by Nats on Oct 31, 2015 2:23:37 GMT
Blardy classic Cappy.  |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2015 2:25:32 GMT
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